Roid Rage

Sorry for the lack of post last week…you know how it goes with the holidays. Holidays bring out a lot of overindulgence on behalf of most people. Usually folks find themselves overdoing it on food, spending, cocktailing…

And some people decide to overindulge in other things like…steroids…which brings us to this post.

This was a young man that I had emailed and spoke with a few times before meeting and I will admit, there were some definite red flags upfront. One of our conversations centered around his disappointment at his subpar workout that morning which clearly affected his entire mood and then lead into a discussion about his body insecurities. I distinctly remember him whining about his “chicken legs”. Yes, I know, why would I go out with him?? Well, I’m trying to be more open-minded and not write people off so quickly. If you remember some people have accused me of being too picky which is really what started this whole online adventure in the first place.
So we decide on a casual date (you know I’m a big fan of the casual date) at Dave and Buster’s at the Providence Place Mall. This would be fun…we can grab a bite and some beers and play some games. I’m like a 10 year old kid at heart so I was excited to show off my profound video game skills. You name it I love it…the shooting games, the racing games…I like it all!

I meet him at the bar and all is well. He looks like his pictures, he’s nice and the conversation is going well. He’s a dealer at a casino so we were talking about work and what his job is like. He launches into a story about a guy who was drunk one night and relieving himself outside. He took it upon himself (like any responsible employee would) to reprimand the man for doing so and tell him to wrap it up. The man got very angry with him and asked if he worked for the casino to which Roid Rage (yes that’s what we’re calling this one) answered yes. Apparently the man stated that if he worked for the casino then he essentially worked for him because he was a customer.

Well…Roid Rage did NOT take this well. He became possessed just telling the story, I saw it in his eyes. It was as if he were right back in that situation on that very night and I was the man outside relieving himself. He leaned in REAL close, his eyes wide and crazy with rage as he clawed at his chest to demonstrate ripping his shirt off and screamed “I don’t work here NOW mother*cker what are you going to do about it??!!!”.

Cue me leaning so far back in my bar stool I had to grip the underneath edges. I started looking around frantically to see if anyone was witnessing this or if maybe I was on candid camera and I would spy a hidden crew any minute.

But alas, I was not on candid camera. The fury eventually drained from his eyes and he straightened back up for the nail was in the coffin at that point for me. He was officially Roid Rage.

So the lesson here kids…overindulge in all the pie, mashed potatoes hell even vodka you want over the holidays…just stay away from the roids.