All In The Family

So where did I leave off? Oh yes yes...amicable break up and all that. I guess you just never know what's going to get into someone at any given point in time. Six months go by and while I had received a couple of casual emails asking how I was doing during that time I really hadn't heard of or thought much of him.

Then I receive a phone call from him one night. He suddenly NEEDS to talk to me and it's important. At this point I'm certainly not driving to him so I told him to come to me if he wants to talk. He does and when he gets there starts telling me how he made a mistake, he didn't realize what he had, he thinks we should give it another shot. He sees us married, house, kids, the whole nine yards (?? we dated for two months...)

Now I know this is not the man for me and I tell him so as direct while still being nice as I can. However, this does not suffice. He cannot for the life of him understand why I wouldn't want to give it another chance. I mean we've all been there...something ends and you don't feel the same and you know there's no going back to it. I tried to explain this to him in various ways for two hours before he finally relented and left. I have to admit I was a little sad, no one likes to hurt someone and I could tell he was visibly upset.

Well my guilt and sadness only lasted so long...

For weeks after he would call, email, text...always asking the same thing...how I could not give this another chance. It became painful to go through it time and time again so finally I started to get angry. Which of course elicits such comments from him as "well I'm glad I know now what a bitch you are...that makes this easier". Okay FINE as long as something makes you just accept this and move on. It was getting ridiculous and exhausting.

Then one Monday night in America (a night I'll never forget) he's in the middle of a texting rampage. At this point I'm actually starting to get a little scared and I forward some of the texts to my best friend so she can know what's going on. The texts were manic and went from one extreme to the other. In one he would be telling me how great he thinks I am and how much he misses me and then in another telling me what a jerk I am for "being like this".

And then comes the text of all texts...the motherload if you will. This probably came through at about ten that night as I'm sitting on my bed mentally running through various escape routes in the event he's crouching outside waiting to pounce. It says (brace yourself folks)..."at least now I don't have to tell you how I used to f*ck your aunt...I would worry about that when we were dating"........................................................

Collect yourselves everyone...I know, it takes a few minutes.

I gasped, threw my phone across the room and curled up into the fetal position and rocked in the hopes to make it all go away.

I know the inevitable question everyone asks when I tell the story, "is it true?". Well folks...I don't know. My aunt and uncle got married very young and eventually divorced after 28 years of marriage. Perhaps my aunt was going through a mid life crisis at 40? I personally believe it because I cannot fathom any reason on God's green earth why someone would say such a thing if it weren't true.

What's worse is that's not the last time I heard from him. I finally called him after another week of badgering and put an end to it. Though like clockwork every few months he'll pop up. In the form of an email, a Facebook request, a text...none of which get replies from me. It's usually "Hey T, just thinking about you, hope all is well...".

Dude, you f*cked my aunt, there's nothing else to be said.