Well it's the holidays...time for cheer and family and spirits. Yes, let's take some time on spirits. Unfortunately alcohol is the central reason for why a lot of these dates go south that I've been on. Believe me, I like my booze and would sooner cut off my arm than go without wine for any extended period of time...but as we learned in "Are You There Vodka, It's Me, Tricia's Date" some people have more of a dependency than others.
This young man was actually not an online venture but someone I met while out with friends one night. Sure, it was a bar and sure, he was probably a little intoxicated but to be honest so was I. It was a Saturday night in America...no judgement please.
We exchange numbers and set up a date for the following week. I was super excited that we had chosen one of my favorite Mexican places to meet up for a bite and a libation. This excitement quicklly dissipated when I realized he was less enthralled by the great food or even me as he was apparently just super excited about the libations...the many that he consumed. We each ordered a margarita which mind you are sizeable. He finished that quickly and ordered another...then another. At this point he's gassed enough tequila to start slurring his speech some.
After we ate (read: I ate, he drank more) he asked if I wanted to go down the street to TGI Friday's to catch the rest of the football game that was on that night. I had my own car and figured I could always bolt if things got ugly so I agreed to go.
As soon as we sat down he asked if I wanted a shot. Hmmmm...it's a first date, it's a Thursday night which means work for me the next day (him too but he was not to be discouraged) so I politely declined and ordered a beer, thinking he would follow suit.
Nope.
One shot of Jaeger and a beer for him. Am I the only one here that thinks shots are a group activity? Not to be done in the company of one's self? I mean usually shots include a toast, some type of cheers...some celebration of an occassion. Apparently being on a first date and half in the bag is cause enough to shoot something solo...and then another, and another (yes, he followed the Margarita Pattern from the earlier place).
The bartender's giving me sympathetic looks at this point as the man is getting loud and my cheeks are flushed from embarassment. I mention casually that maybe he should take it easy as he has to drive (I was NOT going to be carting his drunk ass home I can tell you that).
Well that went over like a fart in church. Suddenly I was being yelled at for judging him...and who was I to tell him what to do. At this point the bartender shut him off, I grabbed my things and headlined out of there. The only time I heard from him after that was a text on Thanksgiving wishing me a happy holiday...he was probably drunk.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
???
I know I know…it’s been a while. With the fall weather here it reminds me of some of my funnier fall dating experiences so it’s prompted me to share once again.
I’m a big fan of a mystery…usually in book form but I’ve also been known to enjoy mystery movies from time to time. Even a little mystery in the man you’re dating is a good thing I believe.
Mystery is different, however, from completely untraceable. Which leads me to my date with who we fondly (and obviously) call Mystery Man.
It started when I received emails in our initial correspondence from him and the address just said XXXX@.com.
The first time I received an email with that I thought it must have been my computer acting up or what have you. Mind you this was totally frustrating since my best friend always used the email to find out any pertinent information about the fella before meeting him. Not “stalking” of course (well, I can’t speak for her and how far she took it)…more like if they were arrested for first degree murder or had a Facebook status as ‘Engaged’ or something. And before you judge…please take the time to read or reread some of my previous stories…I have every right to believe that anything is possible and have probably experienced it.
So I came to find out pretty quickly that xxxx@.com was not a gliche…that seemed to be how his email address appeared every time.
He would only provide a first name and preferred to meet at a location near his home, which happened to be nearby to where I worked so I was fine with that.
We met, had a couple of drinks and chatted but I never really got any information from him. He was vague to say the least. Let me explain:
T: “So what do you do for work?”
MM: “well…I work with people…on a professional level…business ventures…”
T: “Oh interesting…what types of ventures?”
MM: “oh nothing too interesting…” (of course I’m waiting for further explanation from him at this point and figured it was coming so now I’m caught just kind of staring leaning forward and was forced to snap back into my next line of questioning to try to keep some type of pace…that explanation never came)
Or,
T: “so what’s your family like?”
MM: “they’re nice”
………………………………………..
T: “oh”
I mean where do you go from there? I left not knowing a thing about this guy (mind you not before he paid the bill with a black American Express card…that just had initials on it of course) except that he wore glasses…literally. I didn’t even see what he drove…we walked out together and it’s like he vanished into thin air.
Needless to say I never heard from him after that, that probably would’ve left too much of a trail or something.
Until next time,
TXJILC
I know…I’m not as good at it as him.
I’m a big fan of a mystery…usually in book form but I’ve also been known to enjoy mystery movies from time to time. Even a little mystery in the man you’re dating is a good thing I believe.
Mystery is different, however, from completely untraceable. Which leads me to my date with who we fondly (and obviously) call Mystery Man.
It started when I received emails in our initial correspondence from him and the address just said XXXX@.com.
The first time I received an email with that I thought it must have been my computer acting up or what have you. Mind you this was totally frustrating since my best friend always used the email to find out any pertinent information about the fella before meeting him. Not “stalking” of course (well, I can’t speak for her and how far she took it)…more like if they were arrested for first degree murder or had a Facebook status as ‘Engaged’ or something. And before you judge…please take the time to read or reread some of my previous stories…I have every right to believe that anything is possible and have probably experienced it.
So I came to find out pretty quickly that xxxx@.com was not a gliche…that seemed to be how his email address appeared every time.
He would only provide a first name and preferred to meet at a location near his home, which happened to be nearby to where I worked so I was fine with that.
We met, had a couple of drinks and chatted but I never really got any information from him. He was vague to say the least. Let me explain:
T: “So what do you do for work?”
MM: “well…I work with people…on a professional level…business ventures…”
T: “Oh interesting…what types of ventures?”
MM: “oh nothing too interesting…” (of course I’m waiting for further explanation from him at this point and figured it was coming so now I’m caught just kind of staring leaning forward and was forced to snap back into my next line of questioning to try to keep some type of pace…that explanation never came)
Or,
T: “so what’s your family like?”
MM: “they’re nice”
………………………………………..
T: “oh”
I mean where do you go from there? I left not knowing a thing about this guy (mind you not before he paid the bill with a black American Express card…that just had initials on it of course) except that he wore glasses…literally. I didn’t even see what he drove…we walked out together and it’s like he vanished into thin air.
Needless to say I never heard from him after that, that probably would’ve left too much of a trail or something.
Until next time,
TXJILC
I know…I’m not as good at it as him.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Not So Special Early Bird
It's springtime around New England and everyone is looking forward to shaking off the winter, buying their warm weather wardrobe and launching into outdoor fun. Unfortunately for me this came to an abrupt halt in the middle of an extraordinarily warm spring week when I wound up on a date with Old Man Winter.
Okay, I know...that sounds a bit extreme but it's the best likeness I can come up with in order to give you all a proper visual of this man. He literally looked like an old, feeble man to me...a far cry from his pictures online. I was afraid I would break him when I shook his hand hello. I was half expecting him to pop some Geritol mid-date. This one especially tugs at my heart because we spoke a few times before meeting and he was very nice and we had good conversation. I still feel guilty about not being able to find him the least bit attractive, he certainly wasn't shy about letting me know he would like to see me again.
Hence ladies, I've decided to shelve the online dating once again come the end of this month. I just don't think I'm cut out for it...and not because I can't take it for what it is or I put too much stock in it. I literally feel guilty after cutting these guys loose when they turn out to be some variation of my physical worst nightmare. Trust me, I don't feel bad about the guy that f*cked my aunt...just the ones that are nice but I have zip for physically at the end of the day.
But don't fret, I have a few more tales from my experiences AND I've also decided to start bartending again a couple of nights a week. This I would imagine given the amount of people you meet (and because let's not forget...this is me, things will inevitably happen that will amuse others) should yield some good stories for telling.
Okay, I know...that sounds a bit extreme but it's the best likeness I can come up with in order to give you all a proper visual of this man. He literally looked like an old, feeble man to me...a far cry from his pictures online. I was afraid I would break him when I shook his hand hello. I was half expecting him to pop some Geritol mid-date. This one especially tugs at my heart because we spoke a few times before meeting and he was very nice and we had good conversation. I still feel guilty about not being able to find him the least bit attractive, he certainly wasn't shy about letting me know he would like to see me again.
Hence ladies, I've decided to shelve the online dating once again come the end of this month. I just don't think I'm cut out for it...and not because I can't take it for what it is or I put too much stock in it. I literally feel guilty after cutting these guys loose when they turn out to be some variation of my physical worst nightmare. Trust me, I don't feel bad about the guy that f*cked my aunt...just the ones that are nice but I have zip for physically at the end of the day.
But don't fret, I have a few more tales from my experiences AND I've also decided to start bartending again a couple of nights a week. This I would imagine given the amount of people you meet (and because let's not forget...this is me, things will inevitably happen that will amuse others) should yield some good stories for telling.
Monday, February 1, 2010
You Don't Have To Go Home But You Can't Stay Here!
First off let me apologize for the overextended holiday break I gave myself from writing. Assuming some of you actually enjoy reading my blog I know it’s been quite some time since I last wrote.
Another thing I have definitely learned at this point in my online dating journey is that it’s best to get the meeting done as quickly as possible. Pull the trigger if you will. If you spend too much time emailing and talking before you actually meet it just makes for more disappointment if there’s no physical chemistry. And yes, it’s possible to communicate with someone and find them pleasant, funny, intelligent…all of the things you would want the person you date to be. But physical can’t be ignored and it’s either there or it’s not.
This particular gentleman I applied that rule to. We started emailing on a Thursday and met on a Friday. I really liked his approach to how he wrote his profile. He laid the whole thing out as what his family and friends said about him. It was different and clever…I mean after all if your family and your friends don’t know you who does?
Unfortunately a clever profile does not a physical match make. I knew when I pulled into the parking lot to meet him there was no attraction on my part. But we’ve been down that road before so of course I made the most of my four beers’ time with him and had an enjoyable couple of hours with a guy I knew I would never go out with again.
The bad part came at the end of the night when we were leaving. I prepared to go with the polite “nice to meet you” goodbye while he clearly had a different idea. Yup…he went right in for the kiss. I can say there’s nothing…I repeat, nothing…worse than being faced with kissing someone you are absolutely not attracted to.I did the best I could to effectively dodge it and keep what I was sure would be his embarrassment to a minimum. Apparently some don’t embarrass very easily because even after that he asked if we really had to end the night and was I not up to go somewhere else for another drink? The rest of the conversation went a little something like this:
Me: “Noooo…no I don’t think so. I have to get up early tomorrow and you have to drive all the way home…”
Him: “Do I?”
Me: “Uuuummm yes, yes you do.”
Him: “Are you sure?”
Me: “I’m fairly certain yes…yes you have to go home.”
I don’t know what was more unbelievable. The fact that he asked the question in the first place when there was zero indication of anything heading there in the first place OR if he felt the need to actually pose a follow up question. Did he think I would actually reconsider and change my mind? “Oh you know…you’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking, come on back.”
I’m not sure what nickname to give this one…if any of you have any good ideas feel free to put your two cents in.
Another thing I have definitely learned at this point in my online dating journey is that it’s best to get the meeting done as quickly as possible. Pull the trigger if you will. If you spend too much time emailing and talking before you actually meet it just makes for more disappointment if there’s no physical chemistry. And yes, it’s possible to communicate with someone and find them pleasant, funny, intelligent…all of the things you would want the person you date to be. But physical can’t be ignored and it’s either there or it’s not.
This particular gentleman I applied that rule to. We started emailing on a Thursday and met on a Friday. I really liked his approach to how he wrote his profile. He laid the whole thing out as what his family and friends said about him. It was different and clever…I mean after all if your family and your friends don’t know you who does?
Unfortunately a clever profile does not a physical match make. I knew when I pulled into the parking lot to meet him there was no attraction on my part. But we’ve been down that road before so of course I made the most of my four beers’ time with him and had an enjoyable couple of hours with a guy I knew I would never go out with again.
The bad part came at the end of the night when we were leaving. I prepared to go with the polite “nice to meet you” goodbye while he clearly had a different idea. Yup…he went right in for the kiss. I can say there’s nothing…I repeat, nothing…worse than being faced with kissing someone you are absolutely not attracted to.I did the best I could to effectively dodge it and keep what I was sure would be his embarrassment to a minimum. Apparently some don’t embarrass very easily because even after that he asked if we really had to end the night and was I not up to go somewhere else for another drink? The rest of the conversation went a little something like this:
Me: “Noooo…no I don’t think so. I have to get up early tomorrow and you have to drive all the way home…”
Him: “Do I?”
Me: “Uuuummm yes, yes you do.”
Him: “Are you sure?”
Me: “I’m fairly certain yes…yes you have to go home.”
I don’t know what was more unbelievable. The fact that he asked the question in the first place when there was zero indication of anything heading there in the first place OR if he felt the need to actually pose a follow up question. Did he think I would actually reconsider and change my mind? “Oh you know…you’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking, come on back.”
I’m not sure what nickname to give this one…if any of you have any good ideas feel free to put your two cents in.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)